Ah, another peaceful day at PropM — leases being signed, calls being answered. Everything was blooming… until it wasn’t.
Because when we stepped outside, something was missing.
Not the planter. Oh no — that 100-pound concrete beast was still sitting there like it always does.
But the plants? Gone. Vanished. Ripped from the soil like a scene out of a low-budget gardening thriller.
The Investigation
Naturally, we went full detective mode. Security footage rolled. And there she was — a woman, bold as daylight, casually uprooting our plants and tossing them into her car like she was stocking up for the world’s saddest farmer’s market.
No ski mask. No getaway driver. Just her, some stolen shrubbery, and the confidence of someone who’s clearly done this before.
The Recovery
A few days later, the police called. “We found your plants,” they said.
Music swelled. Hope bloomed. We imagined a joyful reunion — the plants, wilted but resilient, ready to photosynthesize again.
But alas… they didn’t make it.
Our poor plants had been taken too soon, victims of transplant trauma and a life of crime they didn’t choose.
The officer, bless his heart, returned their remains. They now rest in peace — or rather, rest in compost — as we honor their memory.
The Moral
So let it be known: if you’re ever tempted to dig up someone else’s landscaping, don’t. Cameras are everywhere, and karma? She’s got deep roots.
We’ll always remember her as The Plant Bandit — thief of foliage, destroyer of decor, and star of yet another day at PropM.
